


Montana

by Rhys (rhyssj)



Category: NSYNC, Popslash
Genre: Body Dysphoria, Eating Disorders, M/M, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-04-22
Updated: 2001-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-07 04:38:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14073063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhyssj/pseuds/Rhys
Summary: Joey, JC and Montana. On a bike.





	1. Chapter 1

"Fuck off," JC moaned, mouth pressed against the pillow. "I'm naked, man. Cut it out." 

Joey shook his head and continued to pull the jeans up JC's skinny little legs, having possessed the foresight to flip JC onto his stomach. "Not my fault," Joey grunted, his right leg braced against the floor for leverage, "that you're sleeping buck." 

"That's just my point," JC whispered, his words muffled. "I was _sleeping._ " 

"And now you're not, Jayce." JC was unusually pliant for all his protesting, but Joey figured it was because JC just didn't know the plan yet. A sleepy JC agreed to just about anything. Joey took a moment to stroke his hair, lulling him unconscious. JC's eyes drifted shut, and he started snoring. 

"Jesus," Joey murmured. He hadn't thought dressing a sleeping man would be this difficult, especially not JC, who was thinner than usual and a good seventy-five pounds lighter than Joey at his current weight, which was -- according to everyone -- _very fat_. 

JC woke up again when Joey had his hands on JC's waist, flipping him over and doing up the button fly of his jeans. Obviously dazed, JC watched for a couple seconds before drifting off again, exhausted. Joey thought about getting him tested for narcolepsy. 

Don't look. Don't look. _Don't look_. Joey did up the fly while watching JC's fingers and how they tapped out melodies in his sleep. Kind of weird, but kind of cool, and it was better than violating JC while he slept. It was bad enough JC was naked when Joey found him. 

JC opened his eyes a third time when Joey was bending him into a white shirt, which took so long to button that Joey gave up halfway through. It was why he preferred tee-shirts. His fingers were too large for dainty little buttons. 

"What're you doing?" JC mumbled, rubbing his face. "I don't get it." 

"Go back to sleep." 

JC nodded. And went back to sleep. 

~~~ 

JC seemed to stay conscious the fourth time he became aware of the world as Joey buckled his sandals to his feet. Odd, JC thought, blinking in the bright morning light, he was sitting on a motorcycle. Funky dream. Really weird. JC was confused. 

"Um," JC said, "is this, like. _Real_?" 

"No," Joey replied, "stop talking. You'll wake up soon enough." 

JC smiled. "All right." 

When Joey sat in front of him and urged JC to put his feet on the two little bars, JC did it. When Joey said -- "put on the fucking helmet" -- JC didn't question either, just complied. When Joey grunted and grabbed his arms, twisting them around a slightly chubby stomach, JC held on and pressed his fingers into soft flesh. 

"Where are we going?" JC asked, realising a microphone was brushing his lips, and he got a loud feedback squeal in response. Joey swore and pressed buttons then JC heard him whisper in his ear. "Louder, Joey." 

"Is that better?" 

JC nodded. "Mmm-hmm. So. Where?" 

"Montana," Joey replied, "and just don't fall off, all right?" 

"No problem," JC said, grinning. Montana. Wow. "I don't usually lucid dream." 

Joey laughed and started the bike, the structure lurching sharply before rolling out of Joey's driveway. Odd, JC thought, looking around, everything looked suspiciously normal. Usually, he dreamed in sparkles, with everything shiny and bright. 

It was when they were on the freeway that JC suspected he really was awake. Joey didn't tell him at first but eventually admitted, yes, JC was awake, and yes, this was really happening, and no, he wasn't getting an explanation. Joey played the friend angle. JC didn't question. 

JC relaxed and enjoyed the rumble of the engine under his legs. 

Oddly, JC still wasn't entirely convinced this was real. 

~~~ 

Joey found a diner for supper, one with tacky lights and a waitress named Barb manning the empty restaurant. JC was smiling nonstop, looking kind of crazy, and Joey felt a twinge of remorse in his belly. JC was probably the last person built for road-tripping, but his presence was important. 

Joey was a man with a plan. 

"Bathroom," JC mumbled, putting his hand on Joey's shoulder, and Joey nodded. Barb showed Joey to a table and slapped down two menus, staring at him, and Joey stared back, scratching his chin. 

"You're that guy," Barb said, and Joey nodded. Joey couldn't remember the last time he was served by a waitress in a yellow jumpsuit with a smoking cigarette clenched between her teeth. "From that group. What's it called? Aerosmith?" 

"You caught me," Joey said, smiling. 

"At least you're not one of those boyband types. They're all fags." 

Joey smiled harder. "So I've heard." 

Barb tapped the ash from her smoke onto the floor. "So what can I get you? Wouldn't recommend anything, really, it's all shit, except for the smoked meat sandwich. It's not bad. Earl'll cook it up real good for you, on account of you being a celebrity." 

"Thanks." 

JC returned shortly after Barb left, looking tired. "So," he said slowly, shaking salt onto the table. "Can I ask, like, what exactly we're doing here? I mean, I'm cool," JC stressed, and Joey knew he really wasn't, "but um. Montana. It's pretty far away, Joe." 

"I know," Joey said, "I just. I can't say anything yet, all right?" 

JC nodded and looked at the menu. "Do you think they just sell toast?" 

"I got you a smoked meat sandwich," Joey said, and JC frowned. "Jayce, man, let me worry about getting fat. You," Joey gestured to him, "disappear when you stand behind a tree. Don't worry about it. You look great." 

JC sighed and twirled his fingers through the small puddle of salt, drawing strange, tribal patterns Joey was sure announced some great truth about JC's soul. "I just hate eating so much." 

"I know," Joey said sympathetically, "but you have to. You _need_ to." 

JC nodded. "I guess. I just. If I get fat, you'll tell me, right?" 

Joey tried to smile. "Promise." 

~~~ 

The sandwich was good, sloppy and full of meat, and JC ate heartily because Joey seemed so happy to watch him pig out. It wasn't like JC was anorexic or anything, or like, bulimic; he just ate toast and salad all the time, and it was more a reaction to shit in his own life than an actual eating disorder. Plus, his metabolism was very fast. 

"Your new album's good," Barb said when she was delivering the pie. 

"Thanks," Joey said, and Barb wandered off. JC looked at him, smiling, and Joey made a big show of leaning forward and whispering out of the corner of his mouth, "she seems to think we're Aerosmith." 

"What?" JC laughed, shaking his head. "That's, like, neat but kind of insulting." 

"I'm not going to enlighten her," Joey said, digging his fork into the pie and waiting patiently for JC to do the same. "Methinks they burn boybands at the stake ‘round these parts, Jayce. As far as she's concerned, we're gracefully aged rockers." 

JC smiled and chewed his pie, liking the sugar. "This isn't so bad," JC said suddenly, his fork between his lips and his teeth banging against the metal. "Being here with you. Like, I'm confused as fuck, but it's kind of nice. Thank you." 

Joey smiled. "No problem." 

And it really wasn't. 

~~~ 

When Joey started having horrific visions of JC falling off the bike, he pulled into the first motel he found. JC was loose against his back, his fingers not quite digging as deep. When Joey stopped, he wasn't entirely surprised to notice JC was sleeping, just very grateful JC clung even when unconscious. This was such a bad idea. 

Positioning JC so he hung over the motorcycle, balanced and still sleeping, Joey grabbed his wad of cash and got the cheapest room he could with two single beds, a hat drawn low over his eyes. Grabbing JC into his arms, Joey walked into the dingy motel room and put JC down on the bed. 

"I'm awake," JC muttered as Joey dragged the white shirt off his shoulders, but JC didn't really move, just closed his eyes and breathed deeply. Joey kneeled over the thin body, untangling JC's wrists when they got stuck. "Where are we?" 

"Tennessee, about to head into Kentucky," Joey mumbled, tugging at JC's shirt. "Hey, Jayce, you wanna do this, if you're so awake?" 

JC blinked. "Oh, yeah, sorry." And started to undress, looking through the bag Joey packed for him. 

Joey nodded and went into the bathroom, "I'm taking a shower." 

"‘Kay." 

Joey turned on the water, running his fingers under the tap. Shrugging off his dirty clothes, he stepped under the stream. Scrubbing his skin with the washcloth, he nearly jumped out of his skin when JC poked his head into the shower. 

"I'm heading to the snack machine outside. Want anything?" JC asked, smiling helpfully. "They have those cake things you like so much. The ones with the filling? They looked good. I was going to get some." 

"Um, whatever, Jayce. Your pick," Joey said, the washcloth paused on his arm, and JC nodded, sliding the curtain shut again. Joey closed his eyes and took a deep breath, counting to ten very slowly. 

Then, shakily, Joey grabbed his dick and jerked off quickly, biting back the groan as he came, splattering the wall of the small shower. 

~~~ 

"Not tired?" Joey asked as he came into the main room after his shower, towel drying his hair, and JC shook his head, a finger between his teeth while he sucked off the icing. JC knew he shouldn't be eating snacks, but he liked the taste of sugar. 

JC licked his lips. "I slept on the bike. That was probably kinda dumb," JC admitted, "but there's not much to look at, besides your legs and, like, the lines on the road. I've never been on a road trip before," JC added, offering Joey a snack cake, and Joey stuffed it into his mouth. 

"You aren't really made for it, Jayce," Joey said, sitting down next to him on the bed. 

JC shrugged. "Doesn't mean I shouldn't try it. Like, I'm all right so far. I'm not some sort of sissy who can't, like, ride a motorcycle." JC nibbled at the cakey mess between his fingers, leaning forward. "Well, I can't drive one, but, like, I sat there, didn't I?" 

"Yes, you did," Joey said, white cream on his lips. "And I didn't mean that. Jayce, we're gonna get gross really quickly, and you bathe at least twice a day. Have you ever even been camping?" JC shook his head. "We still have a couple days ride until we get to Helena." 

"I don't get it," JC confessed, "I mean. Montana, Joe. No one goes to Montana." 

"Which is why we're going." Joey laid back on the bed, and JC continued snacking though his stomach hurt and his tongue tingled. "Just humour me, all right? That's why you're here. You're the only one I can do this with." 

"Even though I suck at road trips?" 

"Even though," Joey agreed. "And you don't really suck. You're just. Fragile." 

JC frowned and shrugged and ate some more. "I'm, like, really okay." 

"You're getting there," Joey muttered, getting up and collapsing into the other bed, and JC watched him as he folded under the covers, wearing boxers and a thin, green tee-shirt. "I'm gonna get some sleep." 

"Is it all right if I watch teevee?" 

Joey nodded, half-asleep. "Yeah." 

~~~ 

JC was asleep by the time Joey woke up, still in his jeans and lying on the floor, and Joey regarded him quietly, thinking again that it might not have been the best of ideas to do this now, to drag JC with him on his quest for fulfilment. 

"Hey, Jayce," Joey whispered in his ear, blowing lightly, and JC lifted a hand, trying to bat him away, but Joey kept a steady stream of air into his ear. "Joshua! Joshua, get up!" Joey shook him, and JC started giggling sleepily, especially when Joey straddled him. "Up and at ‘em, cowboy. Our trek continues this fine Tuesday morning!" 

JC was wheezing. "All right! All right! Can I take a shower? Please?" 

"Sure, Stinky," Joey said, dragging JC to his feet, and JC body slammed him onto the bed, all gangly limbs and narrow hips. Joey went flying and was laughing as JC ran into the bathroom. "Be quick, Jayce!" 

Joey changed while JC showered, picking up the phone and quickly dialling a number, collect, and counting the rings. One, two, three, four -- "what's up, old man?" 

"Where the fuck are you?" Chris demanded. "Asshole. Me and Justin showed up last night, and there's no one home. Did you forget about poker night? Did you forget that it was my turn to take all your money?" 

"I'm in Tennessee," Joey said, "with JC." 

Chris was silent on the other end until, "shit, you mean, you're actually doing it?" 

"I guess so," Joey said, his stomach wobbling, "like, I hope so. He's pretty cool about, you know, being abducted and stuff, and it's good for him, you know. After everything," Joey added, keeping his voice low and quiet. "I think the time is right." 

Chris hummed. "Has he said anything yet?" 

"Nope," Joey replied, hearing the shower turn off, "but he's eating, and that's good, right? We're going to Montana, so, hopefully, you know, all the things that need to be said will get said, and we'll both come back better than before." 

"You're crazy, Joe," Chris said, and Joey could hear the smile in his voice. "Just, be careful, you know?" 

"I will be. I'll try to call again," Joey said, "bye Chris." 

"Bye, stud." 

JC came out of the shower, smiling, and Joey smiled back, packing his bag. 

It was just beginning.


	2. Chapter 2

JC shrilled when they passed a lawn sale, thumping Joey on the back so he'd pull over, and JC was off the bike before Joey could say anything, replacing his helmet with a bucket hat, sliding on his sunglasses. 

"You're cheaper than Chris," Joey commented, sidling up to JC while he looked through old records, chewing on the fingernails of his left hand. "You know, we're never gonna get to Montana if you keep making me stop." 

"I had to piss," JC replied in his own defense, smirking and wiping his fingers dry on his jeans, "and I won't go on the side of the road, no matter how much time you think it saves." 

"Girl," Joey hissed with a laugh, and JC grinned back, flicking Joey's arm with his fingers. 

"We should bring back stuff for the guys," JC said, picking up a ceramic monkey and seriously looking it over, "like, shit they don't need, but they'll take because they're gifts. And then everyone will remember how we rode a motorcycle to Montana." 

"I think that hideous thing might be the only memorable part of Kentucky." Joey pointed distastefully to the monkey, and JC put it down, walking over to a table of handmade jewellery, all twisted silver and black, jagged lines. "Leo," Joey said, picking up a necklace. 

JC thumbed the pendant around his neck. "Already have one. But, oh," JC picked up a black leather strap with a kanji symbol hanging from it, the tag reading ‘freedom'. "I like this. Hold on," JC slid by Joey, touching the small of Joey's back, "I'll just be a second." 

Joey nodded and called after him. "You sure you need that?" 

JC merely waved him away and paid for it, walking back to the bike and unclasping the hitch of the necklace. "It's not for me," JC said, fastening it around Joey's neck, his fingers ruffling the breaths of dark hair. "It's for you." 

Joey smiled and touched his throat. "Why?" 

"I don't know," JC said, grinning. "Because." 

~~~ 

As Kentucky drifted into Illinois then Missouri, the sun began to set, and Joey was impressed they'd made the time they had, gotten this far with JC having to stop everywhere, needing to see the places he hadn't because he'd only ever really lived in Maryland and Florida and always slept on the tour bus. 

The radio was thumping in their ears, some dance radio station that was so going to fade into static soon enough, and JC was moving behind Joey, dancing as much as he could. Joey could imagine what JC looked like, sitting back with jeans drawn taut over his stick-thin thighs, pelvis grinding into Joey's back while the stomach tensed and tightened under the light blue shirt. 

Joey passed a fast moving pickup, and the driver honked loudly, teenagers in the cab screaming -- "fucking fags! -- while Joey gunned the engine, speeding by in a blur. JC was still moving, his hands on Joey's hips, rocking them together slowly. 

"You all right?" Joey asked into the mic, and JC's hand appeared to his left, a thumb pointing towards the heavens. "Okay," Joey spoke, his voice shaky. "What do they know, right? Probably just jealous of my bike." 

"Yeah," JC agreed, and he was murmuring in Joey's ear, singing along with the song, low under his breath. "Pull over," JC said suddenly, slapping Joey's shoulders. "I wanna dance for a couple minutes. Pull over." 

Joey settled on the side of the road, and JC jumped off as Joey changed the output of the radio, music pouring into the night. Joey watched for awhile, bemused, and the pickup truck drove by them, screaming, but JC didn't seem to mind, so neither did he. 

"Come on," JC said, hips rocking back and forth, mouthing the words. 

Joey slid off the bike and moved over the gravel, exaggerating his motions, and JC laughed, doing the hustle. Joey grinned and mash-potatoed , twisting low to the ground, the muscles in his legs straining, and JC bunny-hopped back, his hips pulling his entire body. 

Abruptly the song ended, and the signal didn't pick up. 

Standing there, still, JC shrugged and got back on the bike, and Joey settled in the front seat, watching how JC's thighs slid alongside his and rested against him. The fit was comfortable, uncomfortable, and Joey tried not to think about it. 

It was getting scarier every day. 

~~~ 

"What a dump," JC commented as Joey pulled into the motel parking lot, and JC was still looking around as Joey went to get the room, stretching his legs. JC's pelvis was starting to ache, but it wasn't too bad. 

JC looked down and blushed furiously. He was grateful Joey hadn't commented or anything because JC wasn't sure he could handle it. His erection was obscenely obvious against the pale blue of his old jeans. The strum of the engine was partly the reason, but a large part of it was also Joey, also the touch of flesh against flesh through fabric. It would have happened with anyone, but it was still embarrassing. 

"Number thirteen," Joey announced, the key hanging from his index finger, and JC grabbed the bags, running to catch up to him. Joey was already inside, flopping on the bed, and JC locked the door behind him. "Shit. I gotta call Kelly." 

JC smiled. "You probably should." 

Joey picked up the phone and dialled the number as JC went into the bathroom, poking at his face in the mirror. He looked hollow and sick, which wasn't right at all when JC was fine, just a bit skinny and kind of depressed. "Joe?" 

"Hold on. Yeah, man?" 

"It can wait," JC said, and Joey grunted, resuming his talk about money and babies and car-seats. JC couldn't imagine having a baby, but Joey seemed to like it, really seemed all right with fathering a child he wasn't necessarily going to raise. It was nice. If JC wanted to have a baby on his own, he'd probably want someone like Joey to father it. 

JC made a face then laughed at himself in the mirror. Too bad he was a boy and didn't need to think about things like that! Still giggling, JC walked into the main room and collapsed on the end of the bed, smiling at nothing. 

Joey leaned forward, rolling his eyes at something Kelly was saying, and ran his hand over JC's back, petting him like he would a cat. 

JC arched. 

~~~ 

"Women, fuck," Joey muttered, hanging up the phone and rubbing his face. "If I hadn't got a decent looking kid out of it all, I wouldn't have bothered. Jesus." 

JC smiled, and Joey rolled to lie next to him on the narrow bed, dangerously close together. 

"So how you doing, Jayce?" Joey asked, putting his chin on JC's shoulder. 

"Good," JC replied, his head resting on his folded arms. 

"Um," Joey started, shifting his body so he was closer to JC, more likely to roll his weight and hold him down if he tried to get up. "So I've been meaning to talk to you about a couple things, you know. Well, me and the guys. We're worried." 

"Why?" JC asked, sounded very innocent. 

"Um, well, because. Um. How's Dylan?" Joey asked quickly. 

JC coughed. "The choreographer? He quit." 

"I know he quit," Joey said slowly, praying Justin was right, and that Lance heard what he said he heard, and that it all actually happened. "Um. Like about a month ago, right? Um. He was a really nice guy." 

JC nodded. "I guess." 

"And um, we kinda figured you guys were dating and stuff," Joey said quickly, face red like blood. God. This was embarrassing. JC squeaked under him and tried to get up, but Joey just kind of rubbed his back and smoothed his chin over JC's shoulder. "It's cool, Jayce." 

"We weren't," JC whispered, "dating. We. I'm not. Well. Um." JC sniffed loudly, and Joey relaxed his hold a little bit, pulling back and letting JC roll onto his back. "I probably would have liked to, you know, been told you guys knew." 

Joey nodded. "Like, Justin was the only one entirely convinced then Lance. Heard some shit, when you guys. Um. Parted ways," Joey said stupidly, like it wasn't as bad as saying "broken up" or "called each other fucking self-righteous cunts while trying to pound the shit out of each other." That was what Lance said he heard, anyway. 

JC put his hands over his face. "Fuck. Why didn't you say anything?" 

"I am now," Joey said, apologetic. And he really was sorry. "We just. We were kinda waiting for you to say something. You know. He was _your_ boyfriend." 

"Um. He really wasn't. I mean, I thought he was," JC crossed his arms over his chest, "but he was kinda fucking that lighting guy who quit, too. So." JC rolled onto his belly again, rubbing his face against the blankets. "So. We broke up. Because, he was fucking that other guy, and he said I was mindfucking him, all, like, experimenting with his emotions. Whatever." 

Joey frowned. He remember the lighting guy vaguely, remember how pretty he was and how he made JC look. Fat. "Oh, Jayce," Joey whispered, "I'm sorry, man. You can do better than that, you know. There's someone else out there who really loves you." 

JC sighed massively. "I don't want to talk about this anymore. I just. I'm tired." 

Joey frowned but got off the bed, turning off the light. JC was already mostly naked, slipping under the covers, and Joey watched, though he didn't mean to, suddenly very afraid of Montana and all it meant. 

Two more days. Two. Then. Everything. 

~~~ 

JC woke up wanting to go home. He was sore from sitting on the back of the bike for ten hours a day, and he was humiliated with the thought that his friends knew he was, like, fucking a man in some sad attempt to figure out what he wanted in life. It obviously wasn't meant to be, or Dylan -- the motherfucking asshole -- would have lasted. 

Joey appeared in the door with breakfast, and JC tried not to look at him, just followed the patterns of swirls on the ugly, orange carpeting as he wandered over to take a cup of coffee. He wasn't very hungry. 

"Hey. What -- ?" JC said when Joey grabbed him in a hug, trying to pull away, but Joey was so much bigger than he was and kept JC tucked against his body. "Um. Joe. I'm. Thanks," he finally muttered, pressing his face into the broad chest. 

"Eat," Joey said, but JC shook his head. "Jayce, please. I promised Chris." 

"I'll eat lunch," JC promised, "I just gotta shower, you know?" 

Joey sighed but nodded, and JC grabbed his jeans from yesterday and a wife-beater, locking the bathroom door behind him. The water was warm and soft on his skin, and he stayed in the shower until Joey knocked on the door. 

"I'll be out in a second," JC said, shutting off the stream. 

Outside, it was dreadfully hot, and JC eyed the bike warily, his groin already hurting at the thought of sitting on it, but Joey was already ready to go, looking hot. Um. _Sweaty_ , and manly and angry, very biker. 

And JC was his biker bitch. 

That idea didn't make anything better. 

~~~ 

JC was squirming, all sharp angles and bones. And. Erection, probably, but Joey was neither going to acknowledge or comment because it was pretty much mutual. The stupid bike was seeming less and less like a good idea. 

"Pit stop," JC demanded, squeezing Joey's hips with his legs. 

Joey rolled his eyes. "Jesus, Jayce. Are you pregnant or something?" 

"Fuck off! And besides, didn't you want me to eat? I'll eat. If you just pull over somewhere, anywhere. Please, Joe. It was that coffee. You gave me that coffee." JC wiggled impatiently, and Joey bit his lip, trying not too laugh. "This is your fault." 

Joey nodded and pulled over at the first place he saw, knowing only that they were somewhere in Nebraska or Iowa, and they needed to get across South Dakota today to get to Montana by tomorrow night. Or so Joey's maps from the Internet told him. He was intensely afraid of getting lost. 

Joey slipped into the nearest phone booth and dialled Chris's number. 

"Chris isn't here. He's sleeping, motherfucker." 

"It's two in the afternoon, my time," Joey replied, tapping the dirty glass before seeing a suspicious stain and pulling back, reminding himself to wash his hands before eating. "So, like. We were right. About Dylan. Jayce got fucked over. Cheated on." 

"Shit," Chris said. "That's just. Shit." 

"He won't talk about it, really. I'm. Chris, should I turn around and chicken out?" 

Chris growled into the phone. "Don't you fucking dare, knucklehead. You've only been planning this for what? Five years? You're better off now than then, you know, and remember, Joe: you'll be twenty-five in six months." 

"I know." Joey looked up to see JC by the bike, looking lost. "I gotta go." 

"Go to Montana, Joe. I mean it." 

"I will. I promise. Bye." 

~~~ 

JC nibbled at his sandwich, pulling off the crust then drinking half a glass of water. He shifted uncomfortably under Joey's gaze. Spitefully, he stuffed a mess of chicken and bread into his mouth, chewing obnoxiously. "Fuck off. Stop staring." 

"I'm not," Joey said quietly. "I'm worrying." 

JC licked his lips free of crumbs and sucked on a wedge of tomato before saying, "I don't get it. Like, um. I'm fine, you know?" Joey didn't seem convinced, and JC sucked on his fingers, cleaning. "I am. I just. It's the eating thing, isn't it?" 

"No," Joey said, "yes. And other stuff." 

"Um. All right. I don't have, like, an eating disorder. I'm just. Depressed," JC explained quietly, whispering so people wouldn't here, and the Enquirer wouldn't run a full page article on his mental imbalances. "So I don't eat. Johnny knows this. It's not, like, a big thing." 

"It kinda is," Joey insisted, pushing his crumbs around his empty plate. "Plus, you make me look like a lard-ass. Bad for the self-esteem, you know?" 

"You have big bones," JC said automatically, smiling. "So, like. See. It's okay." 

"I guess." 

JC smiled and ate the rest of his sandwich, eager to please. It wasn't that bad, really, and his stomach only hurt a bit afterwards. JC felt bloated but not obese, which was new and encouraging. "How much longer are we driving today?" 

"Eight hours? I don't know. We gotta get through South Dakota." 

JC swallowed loudly. "Joey, I can't. I can't. It's too much. Can't we. Stop for, like, a day or something?" JC rolled his hips under the table, hoping he wouldn't start crying or something stupid like that. "I hurt." 

"Jayce." 

"Please. I'm not. I don't have enough. Padding," JC said, swallowing his laughter, and Joey spit out his drink, howling as he pounded the table, calling JC evil thin-related names, and JC grinned, cleaning up Joey's spit with a napkin. "Thanks, Joey." 

Joey smiled. "Welcome." 

~~~ 

They went to see a movie instead in a mostly empty town in a mostly empty theatre. Joey bought as much junk food as he could handle and dropped it all on JC when he tried to sit down, muttering, "damn fat ass. Fuck." 

"Squishy," JC said helpfully, pinching the soft flesh. Joey laughed, and JC pulled his hand away quickly. "Sorry." 

"For what?" Joey asked, but JC wouldn't expand. "Oh, hey. That's all right." 

"What is?" 

Joey waved at nothing. "That." Pinching my ass, he thought about saying, but that was kind of kinky. "Like, joking around like that. I mean, don't change things just because I'm a little bit wiser. I might have to stop sitting on you." 

"You? Wiser? Never happen," JC said, but he was smiling. "Okay." 

The movie was the most fucking awful piece of tripe Joey ever saw, and he usually didn't have any standards. JC was snoring beside him, drooling, and Joey wiped his lips dry with his fingers, smiling. Because that was cute and shit, unbearably so. 

Fuck. Joey eventually shook JC awake and together they found a quaint little motel, getting a room. Joey pissed while JC fell asleep on top of the comforter, peaceful at last, and Joey sat down on the other bed, turning on the television. 

JC jerked away suddenly and blinked hard. "Where are we?!" 

"Um. South Dakota? Iowa?" Joey was no longer sure. "I don't know. Somewhere." 

"Somewhere!" JC repeated, and Joey nodded. "Cool! I love somewhere!" 

JC collapsed again, dropping into a quick snore, and Joey shrugged to himself. 

All right, then.


	3. Chapter 3

"So. Um. Montana, Joe?" JC decided to ask again, hoping one day he'd get an answer, and it was day four, after all, and they still had, like, at least a whole two days, if JC was reading those maps right. "Can I have a clue?" 

Joey came out of the bathroom, shaving. "It's something I need to do. I made this list," Joey said slowly, the razor scraping against his throat, "of things I needed to do before I was twenty-five. And I'll be twenty-five soon." 

JC smiled and tucked his legs under his body, folded. "Like, in six months. I'm gonna be twenty-five in, like, five weeks. I still don't get it." 

"Okay." Joey sat down on the bed, covering in shaving cream. "Everyone thought I'd turn out to be a huge, immense failure, right? So, I wrote a list of courageous, life-worthy things to do by the time I was twenty-five. There are five things, and I've done two of them so far -- make music as my life and have a baby. So, that leaves three. And I'm doing them." 

JC smirked. "Okay. So. How do I fit in?" 

"You just do. Don't question," Joey said, smiling, but JC saw something lingering in his eyes that he didn't understand, but, like, this was Joey's trip, so whatever. "Just, go with it, all right? It'll make sense soon. We're almost in Montana." 

"It's all about Montana, isn't it?" 

Joey grinned. "Montana is the world, man." 

~~~ 

So South Dakota was boring as shit, and JC kept making Joey stop, just extending the torture, but JC was looking haggard, and Joey was sure his ass was ten steps from death. JC squealed when they drove past a state park, and Joey doubled back, if only to let JC roam free. 

JC ran around for awhile until his legs got tired and he collapsed onto the grass next to Joey, who was dozing lazily in the sun. It felt great just to lie there, in the grass, and bake, and Joey looked over at JC, who was looking back. 

"Did you love him?" Joey asked suddenly. "Dylan." 

JC frowned deeply. "Why do you -- why are you so concerned?" 

Joey shrugged. "I don't know. Just. Jayce, he was a part of your life for months, and. You never said anything," Joey said blandly, trying not to sound too accusing. "Justin brings Brit to things, and Chris used to bring Dani. You could have, too." 

JC closed his eyes. "You don't understand. It wasn't that easy." 

Joey stared at the sun until it hurt then looked away, black spots in his eyes. "I wish it had been, Jayce. But I guess. I think I understand." 

JC hummed. "Can we just lie here for awhile and not talk?" 

Joey nodded, picking at the grass with his fingers. "Okay." 

"And I did love him. That's why I couldn't." 

Joey nodded. He understood that, too. 

~~~ 

JC was really trying to be helpful about getting out of South Dakota. It was extremely boring, and there wasn't much to look at on the highways, just a lot of sun and open fields. Montana probably wouldn't be that much different, just with the added bonus of grazing cattle. 

But he kept seeing things he thought looked interesting, and Joey kept humouring him, probably feeling guilty for JC's presence in the whole secret romp. To tell the truth, JC wasn't really concerned about the why, just wished he could see more, but Joey seemed so adamant about getting to Montana quickly. 

"Pull over!" JC cried, squeezing Joey's shoulders, and Joey did, of course. JC was scrambling to get off the bike, and the woman at the stand seemed horribly amused as JC ran over, nothing short of blissful. "These are wonderful!" 

"Handmade, sweetie," she said as he looked over the display of cowboys hats. Joey was laughing lowly behind him as JC studied the arrangement, determined to buy one. It would only get him made fun of back home, but he'd fit in completely when they got to Montana. "You boys not from around here?" 

"Orlando," JC said, chewing on his bottom lip. "Oh," JC picked up a plain black one and spun it around his fist, "I like this one. I'll take it." 

"Thanks, honey." Money was exchanged. "You boys take care. You've come a long way." 

"With more to go. Thanks." JC waved as he walked away, putting the hat on proudly and showing off to Joey, who looked bemused while he laughed, dark eyes watching JC as he danced across the dry dirt. "How do I look?" 

"Sex-ay," Joey said, grinning. 

JC bit his lip and smiled, shimmying his hips. "Damn straight." 

Joey smirked. "If you say so." 

~~~ 

They finally got recognised when they stopped for dinner. Well, correctly recognised, and they ended up signing a bunch of autographs for the six other people in the restaurant, talking for a bit before the mother pulled her children away and they were left alone. 

"Eat," Joey said, "or I'll pick something for you." 

JC rolled his eyes and made an honest effort of looking through the menu while Joey waited for him to decide. JC looked small and hollow under the cowboy hat, his narrow arms bare with a tight wife beater clinging to his chest. 

"You're staring," JC said without looking up. "Cut it out." 

Joey grunted and scratched his scalp through greasy hair, sipping at his water and really wanting a beer instead. "You all right with riding another couple hours? I really want to get out of South Dakota tonight." 

JC shrugged. "Yeah, I guess." 

Joey sighed deeply and rubbed his face. "Jayce, I'm sorry." 

JC tipped the hat back a bit, his pale eyes dark. "What for? I'm having the time of my life, Joe. Like, I'm sore as shit right now, so maybe I'm not enthusiastic. But." JC smiled crookedly. "Like, I'm on a road trip. To Montana. With you. And that just blows my mind because no one's ever thought to bring me anywhere. Ever." 

And that was true. Joey remembered the time he and Chris drove to Mexico for no good reason other than authentic tequila, or the month he and Lance spent in Toronto, filming a movie and being complete tourists, or the plane trip to LA he and Justin took just to wade in the Pacific Ocean for a few hours. JC just wasn't made for spur-of-the-moment trips to places he didn't know. 

"We just never. We never thought it was your thing," Joey said. 

JC smiled and touched Joey's hand. " _You_ did." 

"Yeah," Joey said slowly, "I guess I did." 

But for selfish, selfish reasons. 

JC just didn't know that yet. 

~~~ 

JC was wide awake, which was strange because it was well past midnight, but the night was just a little bit chill against his skin, and Joey was just so intensely hot. JC was acutely aware of the world at that moment, and he couldn't stop singing, strumming inside with pure blinding emotion. 

Joey was surprised that JC knew as many Simon and Garfunkel tunes as he did, and JC explained how he'd been an angry teenager and pretended to be a hippy for awhile, free in his pride and alienation. Joey laughed and blamed his own knowledge on his mother, and JC felt like he knew Joey a little bit better after that confession, felt intimately connected to him. 

Sometimes Joey sang with him; sometimes he didn't. They sang together when JC started in on ‘America', the song fitting in ways JC barely fathomed, and JC watched the fields with a new sort of understanding. This was his country; South Dakota, though boring, was a part of his home. This world was the place he lived and breathed and grew. 

"It's all so beautiful," JC commented, arms wrapped around Joey and hugging him with all his might. "I feel so alive." 

Joey just nodded, the movement rippling down his back, and JC held onto him tighter, desperate for touch so much he hurt. With a hiccup, he started crying and couldn't stop, but when Joey tried to pull over, JC wouldn't let him. 

"I'm fine. I'm. Wonderful," JC sobbed, laughing. "I'm. So in love right now." 

And he was. It was all over him. 

~~~ 

JC was extremely quiet for about an hour after he woke up, lost in some state of awe Joey couldn't penetrate, but he seemed happy, so Joey was happy. They were in a motel in Montana, just at the border, and there was still a couple hours until they reached Helena and the mountains. 

And then. Everything. 

Joey was nervous as fuck. He thought about phoning Chris but decided Chris would hate him for phoning so early, and Joey was all right. This was it, really, an entire life's plan about to succeed or fail. His hands were shaking. 

"You all right?" JC asked quietly, hand on the small of Joey's back, and Joey nodded tersely. "Good." And JC wandered off to eat the donuts Joey found while JC was still sleeping, daintily picking at the ones he liked. 

Joey couldn't imagine what it was going to feel like after it was all over, this whole Montana _thing_ he was dragging JC on. He thought about Orlando and going back, and he couldn't remember what it felt like to _not_ have JC behind him on a bike. He went to bed feeling an indent of JC against him and woke up with it just as deep. It was. _Incredible_. 

"Come on," JC said impatiently when Joey finally wandered outside after his shower, lugging his knapsack and seeing JC already on the bike, bouncing and wired. "Hurry. We haven't got all day!" 

"Actually. Yes, we do," Joey replied with a coy grin, and JC merely waved him over quicker, poking Joey when Joey tried to tie down his bag. "Fucker. You're more annoying than Justin. How many donuts did you eat?" 

"High on life!" JC exclaimed, laughing. "Come on. I've never been to Montana." 

Nobody had, really. Nobody but desperate men like Joey. 

~~~ 

They stopped four times for JC to piss, and Joey loudly wondered why he didn't have the man genes to just drop his zipper and piss where he stood. Joey did it; Chris always did it. Even Lance did it a couple times, and Lance didn't do shit like that _ever_. But JC just wouldn't. 

"I just. I can't," JC said, trying to explain it as he came out of washroom number three, ignoring Joey's impatient grunts. "Because, like, they don't take pictures of you guys like they take pictures of me. See, if I do, it's gonna show up in a newspaper, and my mother's going to chew me out for getting caught pissing in public." 

"Fuck!" Joey wailed, pointing at JC accusingly. "That actually makes sense!" 

"I always make sense," JC responded, though he was laughing. Climbing onto the bike, he shifted until he was comfortable and put him helmet on. JC really hated it, mostly because his hair no longer possessed any volume and just hung limply everywhere. It wasn't very sexy at all. 

"Ready to go?" Joey asked, and JC nodded against his back, holding on tight. "I figure, another five or six hours, maybe, then we'll be there." 

JC said, "okay. And what's going to happen when we're there?" 

"Just stuff," Joey replied, looking back, and JC smiled. "Just. Things." 

"I trust you," JC insisted, "I'm just. I just wonder sometimes is all." 

"Yeah." Joey started the engine, and JC relaxed immediately, his muscles tight and aching, but the constant hum and vibration was enough to keep him burning inside, eager to keep going and answer all the great mysteries of life. 

Whatever the secret was that Montana held, anyway. 

~~~ 

The last hour ticked away slowly. JC was still awake and mumbling in Joey's ears, but Joey found it more calming than anything else and didn't quite mind the noise. His stomach was still in knots, and when they finally got to Helena, he felt strange. 

"Pretty," JC said as they drove through it. "Where are we stopping?" 

"They have a national forest on the other side of the city. I want to go there," Joey replied, eyes firmly on the road, "it won't be too much longer. And then. I don't know. Stuff. Things. I. It really is pretty, isn't it?" 

"Yeah," JC agreed, and Joey could feel him smiling, knew he was. 

The forest was just as gorgeous, all dark green in the settling night, and Joey stopped the bike and got off, taking off his helmet and looking around. So this was it, then. This was Helena, Montana, this was the place. Joey felt like he'd been here before. 

"Was this number three?" 

Joey looked at JC. "What?" 

"On your list of five things to do before twenty-five. Was the road trip number three?" 

Joey nodded, stretching his legs and feeling dangerously alive. "I got my motorcycle license for this exact purpose, yeah. Any fool can drive across the country, but doing it on a Harley? That's something I needed to do, Jayce." 

"It's a nice bike," JC said. "It was a nice trip." 

"Not over yet," Joey replied and shivered, rubbing his arms. "And there's more. There's. Other things." 

JC crossed his arms over his chest and nodded. "Okay." 

"I'd like to sit by the water, if you don't mind." 

And JC didn't seem to mind at all. 

~~~ 

JC picked at the grass while Joey sat next to him, thinking. JC was a lot afraid of what Joey was going to say, really scared shitless that Joey was dying or something equally horrible, immensely terrified that this was the end at twenty-five. 

"You're not. Sick. Are you?" JC asked hesitantly, and Joey shook his head. "Okay." 

And they didn't speak again for a long time until Joey whispered, "number four was," Joey looked at JC, his brown eyes almost black in the night, "is. Fuck," Joey laughed at himself, "I'm shaking. Um. Number four." 

"It's all right," JC said, taking Joey's hand and holding it, "take your time." Joey nodded and exhaled sharply and smiled awkwardly. "This is really fucking hard, Jayce." Joey squeezed JC's hand. "Number four is. Me," Joey said slowly, "coming out. As. Gay. Because I'm. Gay. I'm gay." 

JC blinked. "That's. Wow. I. No way. That's great, Joe." And JC said it like he meant it because he did, it was incredibly great, and it was even better that JC was hearing it because it made him feel even closer to Joey. "I'm so. _Proud_ of you right now, Joey." 

Joey laughed airily and shrugged like it hardly mattered when JC could tell it meant everything. "Yeah, like. Um. Yeah. Might have done the flirt thing a bit too well, huh? But. Yeah. I mean. Yeah. I can sleep with anything, but I want men. Totally. You know?" 

"Yeah," JC said, "I know. I know. I think I am, too. You know?" 

Joey laughed and dipped his head. "Yeah." 

JC smiled and squeezed Joey's fingers, felt them warming up in his hand and felt immensely happy to be sitting in Montana, hearing this from Joey, being there with Joey, sharing this moment. In Montana. "Does anyone else know?" 

"Chris," Joey replied, "but he found the list, like, five years ago, so I never actually told him anything. He" -- Joey paused thoughtfully -- "deduced. I'm gonna tell Lance and Justin the minute we get back. I just. Wanted to tell you now." 

"Thank you," JC said, and meant it. 

~~~ 

They sat side by side for another extended period of time without talking, and Joey felt considerably better though he was still tense and tight with anticipation. JC was smiling next to him, completely at ease with the world, and Joey couldn't help but want that, too. 

"Wanna know what number five is?" Joey asked suddenly, memorising the outline of that angular face, not bothering to look away when JC lolled his head to the left, smiling at him lazily while he nodded, eyes serious. 

"Okay. Number five," Joey began slowly, too damn close to chickening out. "Is the promise that I made to myself that by my twenty-fifth year," blood was racing through his ears, and he felt dizzy as things went out of focus, "I would tell one of my best friends," Joey's heart was thumping inside his chest, "how completely in _love_ with him I am." 

JC blinked and opened his mouth but didn't say anything, just lost the smile and replaced it with a quiet look that made Joey tighten inside. "Do I know this friend?" JC asked finally, and Joey nodded slowly, his head buzzing loudly. "Did he go with you on a trip across the country without ever really asking why?" 

"He's a good person; he trusted I had my reasons," Joey replied, the weight of his world resting on one unbent arm as his fingers dug into the cold ground, grabbing at wilting strength. "I love him more than anything else. I have for a very long time. I just. I didn't know how to tell him." Joey bit his lip and accidentally drew blood. "Tell _you._ " 

JC looked away. "I wish you had, Joey." 

"I know." Joey stared at the sky for a few brief, fleeting seconds. The star were beautiful this far north, different, somehow, than they were in Florida. "I wasn't going to tell you. There didn't used to be a number five. But. Then things happened, and I. I hated Dylan a lot. I'm sorry." 

JC put his hand to his face. "Jesus, Joe. I could have -- that fucking asshole ripped out my heart," JC confessed, his words catching on a hiccup, "I. I feel so ugly. And so." JC took a ragged breath and Joey wanted to touch him but didn't. "Disgusting inside after him." 

"I'm so sorry," Joey repeated, his chest tight and sore. 

JC stood up. "I need. I need to think about this, all right? Just a couple minutes," JC murmured, crying hard and masking it. Or trying to because Joey could always tell anyway. "Just. A bit. I'll be back. I just need. To think." 

Joey nodded and let him go.


	4. Chapter 4

JC came back like he said he would, after having thought about it all. He returned after fifteen minutes to where Joey sat, the big body crouched over in the slight night chill and shaking. Joey looked up when JC approached, and JC stopped, just. Didn't resume walking once their eyes met. 

"So," JC said, scratching his arm and feeling like he was too thin to be seen, not with all the trees around him. "Okay. I thought about it, and. It's not like I don't love you back." 

Joey exhaled loudly. "Thank fucking God." 

JC laughed because, like, he couldn't _not_ , but it came out nervous, almost insane. "Yeah. But. Okay. Um. Could you try not to," JC bit his lip and tilted his head, "like, fucking rip me up inside if you should happen to not love me one day? Because. Dylan. He said things, you know? Like, I was ugly. And fat. And. Could you please never say stuff like that to me?" 

"Jayce," Joey said, his face scrunching up, "I never would. I promise." 

JC started crying again, wiping at his eyes and hating the stupid tears, and Joey was around him in an instant, hugging fiercely. Abruptly, JC started laughing, hugging Joey back and thinking he must have lost his mind somewhere in Kentucky. 

JC always loved the fact Joey was cuddly in the off-season, that he packed a few extra pounds and carried it so beautifully, and they'd hugged before, all the time actually, but it felt so much warmer and softer and better now. So loved. JC wasn't sure if he was laughing or crying or both as he pressed his face into Joey's chest. 

"Hey," Joey whispered. "It's all right." 

JC sniffed loudly and did his best to stop crying, though the tears were all over his face and on the rims of his eyes, threatening to fall. Instead, he smiled and looked around, really liking the world a lot the more he saw it. "Is this why we came to Montana?" 

"Yeah," Joey said, sniffling and rubbing his nose, "fucking Montana." 

JC giggled and hiccuped. "Yeah. Yeah." 

"Fucking Montana," Joey repeated, and JC laughed some more. 

~~~ 

Joey lay on his back, the cold grass tickling the back of his neck, and JC lay perpendicular to Joey, his head on Joey's stomach. At first, Joe hadn't wanted him there, felt obscenely bloated and huge, and JC snuggled right in and didn't seem to mind at all. 

Idly, Joey laced his fingers through JC's hair, combing it. It was nothing new -- Joey did it all the time because JC's hair was unnaturally soft and touchable -- but it felt unfamiliar, like undiscovered land in the distance. It looked the same, but it wasn't, not at all. 

Eventually, JC rolled onto his stomach, and Joey looked up, trying to figure out why he was moving when it was all so sublimely comfortable. JC just smiled and moved up Joey's body, absolutely the most beautiful creature Joey had ever seen. 

"I'm going to kiss you," JC said quietly, "finally." JC grinned and palmed Joey's face, hand warm and soft. "Joe, I don't know anyone else who would have waited _five years_ and twenty-five hundred miles to be here with me." JC squished Joey's cheek lovingly with his finger. "So I'm going to kiss you." 

Joey nodded. He'd kissed guys. Of course, he'd kissed guys, but not in a very long time. Chris a couple of times but never JC, and never someone he was so intensely in love with. Or was totally attracted to, not like this, not. Ever. 

Joey was a slut, yes, but only out of necessity and desperation. 

"Don't think," JC muttered, tapping Joey's forehead, and Joey laughed, ready to ask when had he ever before, but JC shut him up with a press of smiling lips, his weight on Joey's chest as his hand dug into Joey's hair, holding him. 

JC tasted good, all sweet and deeply warm, and JC's lips were incredibly kissable, soft but firm with the rough hint of facial hair surrounding it all. He was boney and angular and too-skinny, but JC just _fit_ against Joey in ways Joey always knew he would. 

So they made out for a good while until Joey's back cramped, and JC pulled back with bruised lips. They looked at each and started kissing again, immediately, laughing because it was just so horribly addictive, this lewd slid of muscle and skin. 

"I'm fucking paranoid of camera men," JC muttered, dipping in again to suck on Joey's tongue, fingers nudged into Joey's neck, and Joey clutched him just as desperately, god blessing Montana over and over again in his head until it became his mantra. 

Joey pulled back, unwillingly. "Wanna stop?" 

"Nope. But have to," JC murmured, "because, like, motel. Bed." 

"Bed," Joey repeated, and JC nodded. "Okay. Bed." 

Laughing, they ran to the motorcycle, and laughing, they climbed on, with JC putting on his cowboy hat and saying -- "no helmets, just us like this, free" -- and Joey agreeing, willing to do anything, really. 

Everything. 

~~~ 

JC locked the door behind them and drew the curtains shut as Joey went into the washroom, probably to piss and, maybe, JC thought, to buy some time. JC sat on the bed, the _double_ bed, and smiled to himself, giddy. 

"Hey," Joey said, sitting down next to him, and JC felt intensely shy for one bizarre, long second, accepting the quick kiss and smiling harder. "I've thought about this," Joey admitted, "for so long. I'm fucking afraid of. Impotence." 

JC grinned. "You'll be fine. Joey Fatone has the stamina of a young god, you know." 

"Who's been talking?" Joey demanded coyly and kissed JC again, so sweetly warm against JC's body. JC moved closer so their legs overlapped, and he fiddled with Joey's hair. "I just. If I ruin it, it's only because of that, all right?" 

"You act like I haven't thought about this," JC replied. "I have. I'm. Really excited. And nervous," JC confessed, blushing a bit because they were whispering and touching and not really doing anything yet but they would. They'd do everything. "Very nervous." 

"Couple of school girls, huh?" 

"Yeah." JC smiled. "So. Come on," JC whispered, tugging Joey's shirt off over his head and kissing the shoulder when it was exposed. Joey tasted like sugar, and JC said so. Joey laughed as he returned the favour, now a pro at getting JC's shirt off without hardly any trouble. "You've done this before," JC said. 

"A couple times," Joey replied, "years ago. With, um, a couple of your Mouse brothers." 

"Tony?" JC asked, grinning. 

"How did you --?" 

JC laughed. "How do you think? He got me, too." 

"Fucker," Joey breathed. "What a little fucker. He said he never --" 

"Yeah, me too. Big, lying fucker." JC pulled off his own jeans as Joey did the same, while they smiled at each other, then, suddenly, they were naked, and that seemed to kill that line of conversation because JC couldn't stop staring. "Fuck. Like, you're delicious." 

Joey grinned. "Fuck. Like, you're a spazz." 

"Maybe," JC conceded, "but you obviously don't mind." 

" _Obviously_." 

"Right. So let's shut up and you can, like, love me," JC said, crawling back on the bed, and breathing sharply when Joey moved over him, all big. And Joey. And. "I love you, too. Okay? I don't think I said it like that yet. But I do." 

The kiss that followed was deep and hot. The sex, even hotter. 

~~~ 

"I fucking love Montana," Joey announced the next morning, naked and revelling in the freedom as he bounced around on top of JC, who was squealing and demanding to be allowed to sleep. "God, and we fucking have to leave. Not fair." 

"What? Why?" JC asked, sitting up and touching his purple lips. 

"The tour starts soon, and Johnny gave me nine days off, and I never actually told him you were coming with me, but we're all interchangeable. Mostly." Joey flopped onto JC, smelling him with a huge breath inward. "We have to go." 

"Fucking bike," JC said, "I. Have to sit on that thing, don't I?" 

"Um. Oops?" Joey offered, not having thought about that last night and probably should have. JC cracked his back and shrugged hugely with a grin, not looking like he really cared all *that* much. "Will you be all right?" 

"Fine. Like, Dylan used to get a bit. Rough, and I danced through it, right? Same thing. Kind of." JC wandered off into the bathroom, and Joey followed like a shadow. "What, Joe?" 

"Was he nice to you?" 

JC smiled automatically, though it didn't reach his eyes. "Not as nice as you." 

"Serious. Was he mean, Jayce?" 

"He could be, but it was more like. I let him be, you know?" JC turned on the shower and didn't even ask when he pulled Joey in, lathering Joey up with soap and shampoo. "And well. He was really a dick when I made a big deal about Matt." 

"Who?" 

"Anorexic lighting guy," JC said, and Joey tipped his head so JC could lather fully. "I just. He called me fat, and. I have issues with that -- issues that Johnny has me working through -- so like, that was mean because he knew about that." 

"I think you're dangerously skinny," Joey confessed, running his fingers over JC's ribs, counting them, and JC looked at him, then watched Joey's hand dip into the dent of JC's hip. "We all do. We are so worried about you, Jayce." 

"I know," JC said and sighed. "I'm trying." 

"Yeah. I know you are. I love you," Joey added, and JC nodded, kissing Joey's jaw and smiling when Joey switched their position, cleaning JC then sucking him off and making another mess, then cleaning him again, just loving _this_ togetherness. 

Joey was insanely happy. 

~~~ 

By the time evening rolled around, JC was begging to stop for the day. "My fucking ass," he confessed, pivoting his hips just to make sure he still functioned. Joey looked really sorry, and JC smiled, "just a sacrifice I chose to make. I could really go for a bed, though." 

Whlie Joey wandered off to get a room, JC slipped into the phone booth and called Chris collect, grinning when Chris answered with -- "Fuck you, Joe. You're paying my fucking phone bill; I hope you realise this, you motherfucking monkey-trained son of a very bad whore on roller skates!" -- and JC said, "um. Hi, Chris." 

"Jayce? Fuck. Is Joey all right? Where are you?" 

"We're in South Dakota. Again," JC added because he hated South Dakota. "And he's fine. I just wanted to say we should be home in three days or so, so if you want to, like, throw us a welcome home party, it'd probably be appreciated. Just the five of us." 

Chris hummed. "So. Um." 

"We're dating," JC hissed, and Chris whooped loudly, clapping. JC tried not to jump around but he probably might have bounced a bit. "And, like, Chris. Next time someone loves me for five years and you know about it? Say something, you asshole." 

"I gave my word." 

"Like that means anything," JC replied with a grin. 

"Touché, Chasez." Chris paused. "And fuck, I'm a poet. Give me a prize." 

JC laughed. "Freak." 

"Spazz." 

"Fuck you." 

"You wish. Redirect your energies, kid." Chris made a loud kissing noise. "Ciao, baby." 

Joey came out of the office swinging a set of keys and JC grabbed the bags, and they tumbled inside. Pressed up against the door, JC was laughing as Joey gnawed at his neck like a big, vegetarian bear, speaking of love and other such delights. 

"You know," Joey said later, when they were sweaty and sated and comfortable, tangled in knots and practising at being lovers. "South Dakota sucked ass the first time around --" 

"Did the second time, too," JC added, licking circles on Joey's chest. "Just literally." 

Joey coughed. "Well, yes. But. It's almost as cool as Montana, too. Now." 

"Nowhere's as cool as Montana," JC murmured, "but it's kinda close. _Now._ " 

And Joey said, one last time. "God bless, fucking Montana." 

JC just smiled and said, "yeah. Fucking Montana."


End file.
